Monty Python and the Pirate King!
by Uskius
Summary: Monty Python and the Holy Grail, meets with FLCL! What is in store for Naota! Find out inside!


****Author's Note**** Hi i'm Uskius adn I just wanted to share my favorite fanfitcion with you it's about Flcl and that Monty Python movie with King Arthur, the funny one. So I put some stuff together and it fit really good I think you'll lveo it. PS I know my spelling isn't grart but I get most of the stuff right, do DEAL with it.

**Monty Python and the Pirate King!**

The wind blew over the underpass, and it ruffled even the wombat fur. Naota was doing his hoemwork, while the lusty vixen M eniticed him with great philosphy amimi "Legs should witdh aparts, and keep your body tight. Your pinky is the key, for he who conquer the left side takes the worlf!"

"It's hard keeping the settings of the"

"Naota m'dear, what are you on about? Are you playing some card game?"

"I'm doing my homework, like I said I would be when we first came here."

"Dont be such a drag it's cool to-" Then suddenly Mamimi's eyes started shining, and she dropped her broadsword, it rattled with clanging on the ground. his chest feeling him like a fluffy pillow at nap time. Naota kept doing his work

She silkily came up behind him and put her arms across, and Mamimi breathed sweet nothings in his ear. "Why do you keep doing this? Mamimi?" BE"cause if I don't, I'll overflow."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means I'll have to masturbate so hard I be sore for a week and strap an ice pack inbetween my-"

"Oh, shut up!" But mamimi wrapped her arms around Naota and pulled him to the ground, and they stayed there because neither knew what to do , really. After a time they got back up, and Naota finished his school chores, and they parted ways and went back home together. They were on the road to Natoa 's apartment, when they heard a strange sound. "What the heck is that?"

"Sounds like someone riding a horse towards us," Mamimi said.

"Exactly, who in the heck rides horses anymore? It just sounds like coconuts clopping to me to me. And where do they get the coconuts from anyways?"

"Perhaps an African Swallow carried them over," Mamimi thought out loud.

"But Africna swallows don't even migrate to Jap-" And suddenly, a broom stick parted the colth of Naota's pants and boxers,and nearly entered his rectum! and Naota was kncoed over, too. "AAAArrrgh!" Naota got up, and behind him was a wench with pink hair, a broomstick between her legs and a pair of coconut haves in hand, and a bass guitar strapped to her back.

"Neigh, whinny winny." And Naota passed out from the awkward.

Some time later, Naota awoke across the back of something thin and bristly, bouncing up and down. Wh"What happened? My sphincter dost protest."

Haruko giggled. I am on a quest," She said, to meet with the "Pirate King. I have heard he is hereabouts."

"Verily, I wait- Pirate King Double you tee eff?"

"prehaps you may understand later, my brave king."

"So now I'm a ki- oh, suht up. Who are you really?"

"I am the orgasm of an eagle who sheds a tear for the last of the pimple eaters."

"AAAAAAaarrrrgh! You People!" Then Naota looked up as he heard a sound, and saw Mamimi riding side-saddle on another broom horse, taking a picture of him. She did that sometimes, taking pictures of him. He wondered if she knew he knew, or wanted him to think she didn't know he knew so she could keep taking pictures like he didn't know he knew she knew he knew. Phew. In any case, naota could see Mamimi's white cotton panties, and thusly closed his eyes. It was almost comfortable, riding on the back of this brrom horse, gently bumping up and down with its gait. But the rest was not to be for long.

"Naota, awake! I canot gallop with sleeping on the but-tocks of my steed! And we must speed to a safe haven, for it is almost sunset!" So Naota got up, and at the pink haird knight's errant gidance, took hold of her coconuts. He clopped furiously as she rode , leaning in to the neck of the beast pink hair flowing behind her helmet. Mamimi kept pace with them. holding her armsout to the side and leaning back.

A sinking feeling entered Naotas edscended into his bowels, as he spied his apartment rapidly approaching. "Oh shut up," he said, just in case. He stopped clopping, and Haruko looked back at him with a look that could kill a boulder. He clopped hesitantly, and she nodded and started riding again, and a oment later they arrived at his arparmtnet. Mamimi dismounted, and so did Naota and Haruko. He began to rush up the stairs to hide, but Haruko called, "Hold! I must secure the steeds first!" So He waited for some reason for Haruko to tie up the broom horses, and she and Mamimi bounded up the flights of fancy steps to the door next to Naota. Haruko kncocked on the door, and Naota's dad answered. He only had his boxers on.

"Ni! What brought you home so early, Naota?"

"I have come to seek shelter, m'lord, if thou willed it. I am a knights errant, 'pon a quest. " Then Naota's grandpa came up behind his dad for a second, and went back in the house to somewhere.

"I am but a lowly real estate man, reviewing ... tracts of land, but thou may enter! Ni!"

"Dad stop saying NI! Especially in front of Mamimi and this chick, whoever she is."

"Ni! Nii! Don't be emarrased for your... shrubbery, Naota! They are streling lasses, the twain! Nii!" So Naota's dad bowed and Naota's brain censored something for a second, and they all walked in.

Promptly, Haruko tried CPR on naota.

"Mfrejfoiffnmffff, nofwfmnnff dweff yffff!"

"Aha! I have revived him. But alas, you now must die for has tasted of evil in your kiss."

"Someone want to start making-" But then Haruko pulled the cord on her Rickenbacker bass, and the engine roared to life as she took a swing at Naota. He ducked. I"'ve had it with this stupied chick in my-"" But he didn't see the back swing, and was brained by the bass. When he woke up he was back on the broom horse again, bouncing up and down. There was a bandage of gauze and tape upon his forehead, which still ached, he did not know how long was he out.

"Naota, awake! for I cannot gallop with-"

"Yeah yeah," And sleepily he reached for Hauko's coconut haves as a car passesd them. He clopped furisouly, grunting even( Your mind went there first!) as the company sped along. Mamimi was riding Haruko's bass like a skatboard., and did a three sixty nollie laser flip. Blue numbers appeared above her head for a moment as the combo was computed, then faded away. Questing music started to play, and suddenly they took a detour of the side walk and went into the shrubbery on the side of the road! It was really a decent forest, but inexplicably there was a path they followed. "Please tell me this is a shortcut."

"The path less traveled is always the shortest road to your destiny!" Naota almost face-palmed, until he actually thought about it. "Wait- no, still doesn't ma-"

"Silence! D" emanded mamimi. She hopped off of the rickenbacker and sniffed apinch of earth. "Rabbit piss," or maybe "A panda with a mean face who's recently eaten a watermelon." Mamimi sniffed again. "No, for sure rabbit piss, oh well. Good thing there's not a-" Suddenly Mamimi was run over by a black knight riding a white bronco.

"After him!" Naota called with revenge longings. They sped off, gaining ground untli the horse broom gave the bronco a prostate exam,. Haruko climbed up and unhorsed the kngiht. Naota, realized and got off the boroon horse, and threw away the coconut haves. He didn't know what the bandage was for, so he jsut ripped it off as he saw Mamimi teleport to right beside Haruko using the bass,. She pulled the starter on it again, and began to duel with the knight but she was way better and she cut off one of his arms.

"I ha;ve vanquished thee, sir!"

"Nay tis but a flesh wound!" So the knight duelled with just his other arm, until mamimi cut that one off too.

"Come on guys, let's hurry up to the orgy pentagram."

"Come back, you yellow cowards! This is nothing, I've had worse-" Suddenly a cute and fluffy white rabbit came out of nowhere and destroyed the knight's trachea with malice. The knight never had worse than that. So they friends were traveling along and suddenly the path opened up. There was a big plane with a castle on the distance, and it was swiftly approaching. Naota's forehead hurt, and he couldive swore something was coming out of it but he couldn't see.

"Hail!" Mamimi called, playing a bass solo with her feet as she hovered alongside Naota and Haruko. "We are on a quest, and seek to munchify at thine table. Should you agree, we will let you join us!"

"What do you seek?" Called a man in a heavy American accent.

"The Pirate King Atomsk!" Ansered Haruko.

"We already have a one in here, go away." I told them we have a Pirate King Atomsk already, the man wispered to his fellow guards, in a French accent.

"But couldn't you at least let us get a bite? We're starving," Naota shouted, as the Hoyl Grail came out of his forehead and put itself in Haruko's backpack.

"You can eat from our poo-filled swine trough, you swine! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of oran berries! Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time!"

Mamimi yelled at the top of her lungs, "I wield the tampon of oultimate destruction! I demand the Pirate King atomsk, or I shall overflow.!"

So then they charged the castle, but Naota fell behind bacause his head was really strating to hurt, and he fell over. Haruko and the other ghick didn't notice. Suddenly they flung a cow from the castle wall, and it almost hit Naota, but it didn't. Then thye started flinging ducks and other live animals, and occasionaly a stolen prop but they didn't look to Naota like they hurt the girls. Until they started screaming, "Run away, run away!" And they rode back towards him. Then suddenly a Buster sword and a robot with a computer screen head came out of Naota's forehead, and he blacked out for a little bit. The robot posessed with him, and Naota woke up inside the cockpit mind of the robot.

"You idiot, I was here the whole time." and then Haruko whacked him with the Rickenbacker, and then

"What, you're saying you're the Pirate King?"

I wouldn't be hanging around you if it wasn't for the booty. Yes, I'm the Pirate King."

"...You could have sid something earlier. I almost got hit by a flying cow."

"Cool. Hey, hope you don't mind I'm just gonna levelthis castle right quick, then you can go loot it. Peace." Then the Pirate King Atomsk released his true form for a moment, and it destroyinated the defenses of the castle and exactly one blade of grass inside the keep,. Then Atomsk uncombined from Naota, and he looked like the computer screen head robot again.

Naota blineked, Mamimi said "Don't move him, he's been through a lot recently.!"

"I cannot believe I put my tongue inside one hwoe held the Pirate King in them. Even if it was for CPR. Ugh. Excuse me while I wash my mouth out withpickle juice and molassess.:"

"But, the robot guy's not inside me anymore, no homo.:"

"Oh Naota my love, now you are free for me!" Suddenly Haruko tried to glomp Naota, but Mamimi was fighting with her to glomp Natoa.

"...Whatever, both of you are too old for me anyways." He tried to walk away, but Mamimi spun him arround to her.

"Naota, I lveo you more than stale bread crusts!"

"..."

So then Haruko, stepped up beside Mamimi. "Naota, I love you more than chocolate! And since your father is a real estate man, I'll offer you my... tracts of land as a dowry. We could live together quite comfortably, m'lord. If you should so wish, I could hand feed you delicious cherries..."

Naota kept hearing "Lvoe you more than chocolate" in his mind. As he knew, girls loved chocolate the best of anything, so this imrespessed him greatly. "I'll marry you, Haruko! lease, just marry me! Now!" Then the robot performed a quick service, with Mamimi as witness. For their honeymoon, tey two set off to Socotra, to see the sights.

"Halt! You cradle robber, thou!" A policeman shot Mamimi and Haruko with tranquilizer darts, and another handcuffed Naota and the girls. "I'm taking you lot in for forced marriage and for indecent acts with a minor!" He waved Mamimi's pics around. "And I have picture evidence, you you scum aren't getting off easy! It's filth like you who make me gald Chris Hansen and to Catch a Predator raised awareness for this problem!:"

**THE END**


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